The Voice with a ‘But’ For Everything (And the Choice That Follows)

There's a voice most women carry when they start to consider doing something for themselves.

The one with a but for everything. It sounds very reasonable. It knows exactly what to say. And it will absolutely keep you stuck if you let it.

So I want to address it honestly, because I know it well. I lived with it for years.

'I don't have time for this.'

This is the one I hear most from the women who need this work the most. The relentless overthinking, the emotional eating, trying to keep everyone happy, the 2am replays and the energy it takes to keep performing, it's all time consuming and exhausting. The question isn't really whether you have the time. It's whether you can afford to keep not doing it.

'I'm not sure hypnosis actually works.'

I understand the scepticism, because most people's idea of hypnosis comes from films or stage shows. Hypnosis is actually a deeply relaxed, fully conscious state where your subconscious mind becomes more open and receptive. You're aware and in control throughout. And the results speak for themselves, because women who've been stuck in the same loop for years often experience a significant shift in their thoughts and behaviours, sometimes within the first session.

'What if I change too much? What if I lose myself?'

This one I really understand. What it usually means is: what if I lose the version of me I've built, the capable one, the one people rely on, the one who holds it all together? But that version of you isn't going anywhere. You don't lose yourself. You find the parts of yourself that have been buried under the performing for much longer than you'd like to admit.

'What if nothing changes?'

This is the one I hold most gently, because it usually comes from women who have already tried things and been disappointed. What I can tell you is that every woman I've worked with has experienced real shifts, in sleep, in anxiety, in quieting the inner critic, in the decisions they make.

All of these fears make complete sense. They're your nervous system trying to keep you safe. But staying still in a survival spiral means it keeps spiralling.

And so that brings me to the choice.

There are two paths from here.

The first one you already know really well. You keep going, keep getting through the week, keep being brilliant at your job and your life, at least from the outside. The tight chest and the 2am replays stay yours to carry quietly, because that's just life, and everyone is tired, and who are you to make a fuss.

And deep underneath it, the version of you who wanted something different, something that felt alive and actually yours, stays quiet. Because she's been quiet for a long time, and it's become normal.

That path is valid. Lots of women walk it, very capably, for a very long time. But it won't make you feel free. And it won't get quieter on its own.

The second path asks something different of you. A different kind of courage. The kind that says: I know something must change, and I'm not going to wait for a version of me that feels completely ready, because she's not coming before I start.

Because here's what I've learned from every woman I've sat with: that ready feeling doesn't arrive before you begin. It builds as you go. The moment that changed my own life didn't feel ready. It felt scary and necessary and exactly right, all at the same time.

If you'd like to explore the second path, to come back to yourself, properly, underneath all the performing and protecting, the first step is simply a conversation.

No pressure, no pitch. Just an honest look at where you are, and whether this work feels right for you.

When you're ready, I'm here. 💗

Jess x