The Voice with a ‘But’ For Everything

There’s a voice that likes to pop up whenever we start thinking about doing something differently.

It rarely says, “Absolutely not.” It’s so much cleverer than that. It says:

Yes, but I don’t have time.

Yes, but what if it doesn’t work?

Yes, but things aren’t actually that bad.

Yes, but maybe I should wait until life calms down.

And because all of those things sound completely reasonable, we listen.

I know that voice so well. For years I could find an excellent reason not to do the things that, somewhere underneath all the noise, I knew I wanted to do.

“I don’t have time for this.”

Sometimes you genuinely don’t. Life is full. Work is demanding. There are children, relationships, responsibilities and approximately 847 things happening at once.

But I also think it’s worth noticing how much time can disappear into overthinking, replaying conversations, worrying about things that haven’t happened, trying to keep everybody happy or mentally solving the same problem for the tenth time.

Not so you can add another thing to your to-do list. Just because sometimes “I don’t have time” actually means, I don’t know how to make myself a priority when everything else feels more important.

“I’m not sure hypnosis will work for me.”

Fair. Most people come to hypnosis with some version of this question.

You don’t need to switch your brain off, lose control or suddenly become incredibly suggestible. You’re awake and aware throughout, and we talk properly beforehand about what you want to work on and whether the approach feels right for you.

I’d much rather somebody ask questions and understand what they’re choosing than feel they need to believe in something blindly.

“What if nothing changes?”

This one makes complete sense, particularly if you’ve already tried to change the same thing several times. Maybe you’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, journalled about it, promised yourself you’ll respond differently next time. And then next time happens and there you are again.

That can make you wary of trying anything else. It’s also why I’m much more interested in understanding the pattern than telling you to try harder.

Sometimes the useful question isn’t, Why can’t I sort this out? It’s, What keeps taking me back here?

“I’ll do it when I feel ready.”

This was a massive one for me. I thought confidence would come first. Then I’d make the decision and then I’d take the step.

But my experience has almost always been the opposite. A lot of the things that have changed my life started while I was still unsure, still nervous and still wondering if I was doing the right thing. I didn’t suddenly become fearless, but I did stop treating fear as evidence that I shouldn’t do something and went for it anyway.

Sometimes the voice with the “but” is giving you useful information. Maybe you really do need more time, more information or a different option.

But sometimes it’s the same voice that has been keeping you in exactly the same place for years.

You don’t need to fight with it. Just notice it and ask yourself: Is this a genuine reason not to do this, or a very familiar reason not to do it yet?

There can be a big difference. 🩷

Jess x